Take a step back.

Ok, so I was doing some work on the blog. Looking through some old posts, reading comments... All that fun stuff. :) But anyway, I came across my post a LONG time ago called When God writes a Love Story. I remember being so convinced that that boy and I would be together. I remember trying with every fiber in my body to make a difference in his life, and get him to love me as much as I loved him. But the truth is, that he just didn't. And that's ok. I'm not going to tell you that I hate his guts. I'm not going to say that he "Played me". I'm not going to tell you that it was a horrible experience. And I'm not going to say that I didn't deserve it. Was there a time that I did feel this way? Yes. Absolutely. I am a girl. I am human. I believe that everything happens for a reason. So, when he broke up with me, I was horrified. Yes. I was extremely distraught. I cried oh so very hard for days. It took me over a year to get to the place I'm in now. I wrote more songs than I care to admit about how I wish I could get him back, how horrible of a guy he was, how upset I was, how in love I was, and anything else I was feeling. I felt let down, I felt pushed to the side, and I hated that. I knew that he was what I wanted, but he didn't want me. And do you know what? I've had a revolution. Hold on... This is going to take a bit of settling. Are you sitting down? Are you ready to hear this? Are you sure? ... REALLY sure??? Ok...

Push play on This ^ before looking at the pics. :)

I spent a LOT of time trying to fit these^ pictures to the words you're hearing... But I'm not sure if it worked or not. :) 

So...^ There's the bridge picture. :) 

Anyway, I realized that it's ok. :) I can't complain about what happened. Was it a really bad experience? Yes. And it crushed me. But after every rain storm there is a... C'mon, you know this...

That's right... A rainbow. :) And rainbows are great! Let me tell you... :) They symbolize so much. They take a broken looking, sad thing. And turn it into something amazingly beautiful. :)

I've had my own personal experience with "rainbows". You're thinking... C'mon Ayballin... We all have seen rainbows, it's not that exciting. :) I mean... Their pretty, but you see them, and then you just kinda know there's a rainbow there.

And, yes. That is true, but I'm talking a metaphorical rainbow.

 Sometimes I guess you just realize that your life is awesome. You're life even though it's not easy all the time, it's alright. And it's awesome. :) Everything falls into place, everything will turn into what it is supposed to, and I can't complain. :) I'm actually very happy. I look back today and think wow, I am so much better off. I don't need anyone to make me happy. I have music, I have a career, I have a life. And I am happy. When the right guy comes, he comes. But for now... I'm just fine. And life is good. :)

Sometimes you have to take a step back from everything and think to yourself "Life is good."

Life is amazing

Life is a Journey

And, we all look for our rainbows.

Anyway, Good luck. Hang in there. Find your rainbow. Weather that is your true calling in life, your true love, or a church who will accept you the way you are. I wish you well, and that you find your rainbow. :)

Your faithful writer A J.

I love you all, Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it. (I know it's long...) 

So long! Fairwell!And everything else they sing. :)

Yes... I love him.

Ok, it's been a while I know. Very sorry... I hope you can accept my appologies and keep reading my blog! :)

       Ok, I'm going to hit a hot topic right on the head. And I know that many teenagers in a commited relationship struggle with this, so I'm going to blow this out of the water.

I can't count how many times someone has told me "You don't really love him." Or "You shouldn't say that and raise his hopes." Or "You don't even know what love is." ... The list goes on.

            You know... I do.
I do love him. It's not just a crush anymore. We have been  through thick and thin, hard times, fun times. And guess what? Even when I'm trying to point out how wrong i think he is, and why I don't agree with it. I STILL LOVE HIM!

And I'm not raising his "hopes"... Seriously, what does that even mean? Just because we end every conversation with "I love you." doesn't mean that I am dragging him through our relationship.

"you don't even know what love is." I won't lie, this is the one that irks me the most. And I'll tell you why, just stick with me... :) 1Corinthians 13 states very clearly what love is. And If you haven't heard of it, I'll state it off for you. (1 Corinthians 13:4-10 ESV) Love is patient and kind, lve does not envy or boast; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes the partial will pass away."

OK... shouldn't what God says love is, be what love is? If you disagree, please comment below I would love to see your insight on why God is wrong.
If you believe what God says about love here, then it's free for all to see. And EVERYONE knows what love is. God didn't hide this "secret truth" about marital love for only those "special enough" to receive it. How you love someone doesn't change. It is stated clearly "Love IS..." Not "Love could be..." This and this and this.... "Depending on the person. " No. You are commanded to love everyone. No, you don't have to "LIKE" them, but you have to love them. ( That's a whole other argument though... we won't get into that.... Today... :P )

When I tell my boyfriend that I love him, it's basically me saying " I know I'm not perfect, and I might fail horribly sometimes... But, I will try my hardest to make 1 Corinthians 13 what you think of when you think of how much I love you. And also know that I could never love you or be as perfect as the God who created the love itself. Let me help you toward knowing who loves you the most better." That is what I hope he hears. Do you really expect me to sat that long speach every time we say "Goodnight" or "Goodbye"? No. It is easier to be lazy and say "I love you."

The point here is, I do love him. And it's not that big of a deal to say that. If I don't say it, how will he know? He wont. That is why I tell him I love him. Because I do, I love him. And he says he loves me back. Which I hope is true, because I see 1 Corinthians in the way he acts toward me. So, yes. If you were curious I do love him. I try my hardest to be patient, and kind, and everything else 1 Corinthians just said. And if he does the same, then we love each other, and it's ok to say that. We shouldn't get told that it is wrong for us to tell each other that. If it is true, then we aren't doing anything "Illegal, Immoral, Unethical, or AntiChrist." ( Thank you Brother Don...) And thereby it is not wrong.

Thanks for reading my very,very long rant... :)
Yours (sometimes) faithful writer A J
Till next time... Who knows when that will be... :) 

When God writes a love story.

"True love waits." Ok, it's a cute idea and everything... But, does that guy really exist? It's so "fairytale" Isn't it? It could never happen to me! Could it?

Yes. It can! 

You're thinking "Wow, wow... Slow down. You're really giving a PURITY speech, on your blog?!?!? You can't be serious!" 

And, let me tell you now. This is not a purity speech. This is not a "If you have dated you're a sinner, and should never love again." speech. In fact... This isn't a speech at all. It's a blog. And, in all reality, I can talk as long as I want, about whatever I want, and you will read it because you think I'm funny, or entertaining. Or you're just bored and wasting time. That's fine too. DON'T GO AWAY!!! This is NOT a purity speech. This is me telling you that God has a great plan in your life, if you would just let him do it. You would be so happy. 

I am a Christian, I believe that God is in control of everything that happens. And nothing happens without him knowing it. You may think that you are doing what God has planed because He hasn't stopped you yet. Have you prayed about whatever is going on in your life right now? Or, are you just doing it because it "feels" right. Let me tell you about the most exciting thing that has happened to me in my life. 

So, my mom teaches dance lessons. There is a family, and they have been participating for a few years now. Every once in a while we would have a recital or something exciting. And of course, I would be there... Because my mom teaches the class. And every time, there would be this guy... I didn't know his name for the first year. Because, he never told me his name when he first met me. (I know now he was just nervous...) Time, after time. He would come back. I soon found out that his name was Ben, and we knew eachother existed. But nothing past acquantances. Recently, I had to find a card partner because my family LOVES to play cards... We have known eachother for 3 months, and 10 days. "But who's counting... ;)" Today, he made the big step. And asked my dad if he could court me. 

(Now, I know what you're thinking by "courting". But, really... it's no different from dating except that we have more boundaries, and our parents are very involved.)

My dad said "Yes." And now we are an official couple! Don't get me wrong. I have liked other guys. Ben is NOT the only guy I have ever had feelings for. It is not reasonable to believe that you will only like this one guy. God uses the feelings that you have to help you realize what it is He really has in store for you. And believe me when I say. You think that you can do pretty well on your own... You ain't seen nothin' yet! If you put your life into God's capable hands. He  will fulfill your life in every way that you need. It WILL be a fairytale. Or it will seem like one to you. I am happier than I have ever been. 

And it's not going to be perfect. We are both human, and make mistakes. But, if God is in control, He will help us goet throught them. And, we will have a beautiful relationship! 

Thank  you mom, for always telling me to wait. Thank you dad, for protecting me while I was waiting. Thank you God, for putting Ben in my life. And (last but not least) Thank you Ben, for even considering me. I hope I can match up to your standards. 

Thank you for reading this blog... I hope that you are encouraged as a single person, to wait for God to take control. And I hope you are encouraged as a non-single person, to thank God for what he has given you. 

Thanks for reading! Your faithful writer, A J.