Past, Present... And the Future.

"The clock is running. Make the most of today. Time waits for no man. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it is called the present." Have you ever heard that phrase? Or just a piece of it? It's pretty powerful, even though it's cliche... :)

So... Here's the story, I walked into work yesterday... This seems like a normal thing, and I thought it was. Have you ever just been going along in your business, and then...

Something comes up, and pretty much just slaps you in the face. You're going on your business... And... Well... It's kinda like this. Let me demonstrate with a few pictures...

The video has slight language in it, so just turn your volume down so you can see the wave hit!

^

That.

That right there.

That is what it feels like.

Going along, minding your own business, and BAM! You're hit by a huge wave that you never expected...  Anyway, along with the story. I walk into work, as some of you know that I play music On Friday and Saturdays at a place called Moon Dogs, I work for tips.... So, I walk in, and right in front of my face is my Ex boyfriend with another girl... Now, I'm just saying this so you know what happened... It was like a slap in the face that you never saw coming.... Anyway, it made me get thinking, and that's why I'm writing the blog. :)

^

Believe it or not, that was all pre-blog story.

Past, Present... And the Future.

Now, I want to make one thing clear. My life, right now is awesome. I have no regrets, I love the people in my life, and I love the way my life is going.

That being said, everyone has a past. Everyone has that one person that they just never want to see or hear from again... And that, my blogger friends, is just a fact of life. But, sometimes you realize that the past is the past, and that is where it needs to stay. When we mix the past with the present it never ends well. And that is why I have decided to be happy with my Present, and look forward to the future. My life is as good as it's going to get, and the decisions I make today influence the decisions tomorrow, so on and so forth.

The past will be there forever, I can't change that. I can't change the decisions I made yesterday. But I can change the decisions I make today, and by doing that by default, changing the decisions I make tomorrow. And that is what we should be doing. Not looking back on what we could have done, but looking forward to what we can do. Then doing it.

I hope this has been helpful, but basically I'm preaching to myself. :) 

So, I'll end with this. Learn from the past, don't stay stuck behind in what you can't change. Instead make an effort to change what you can change.

Your faithful writer- AJ

Take a step back.

Ok, so I was doing some work on the blog. Looking through some old posts, reading comments... All that fun stuff. :) But anyway, I came across my post a LONG time ago called When God writes a Love Story. I remember being so convinced that that boy and I would be together. I remember trying with every fiber in my body to make a difference in his life, and get him to love me as much as I loved him. But the truth is, that he just didn't. And that's ok. I'm not going to tell you that I hate his guts. I'm not going to say that he "Played me". I'm not going to tell you that it was a horrible experience. And I'm not going to say that I didn't deserve it. Was there a time that I did feel this way? Yes. Absolutely. I am a girl. I am human. I believe that everything happens for a reason. So, when he broke up with me, I was horrified. Yes. I was extremely distraught. I cried oh so very hard for days. It took me over a year to get to the place I'm in now. I wrote more songs than I care to admit about how I wish I could get him back, how horrible of a guy he was, how upset I was, how in love I was, and anything else I was feeling. I felt let down, I felt pushed to the side, and I hated that. I knew that he was what I wanted, but he didn't want me. And do you know what? I've had a revolution. Hold on... This is going to take a bit of settling. Are you sitting down? Are you ready to hear this? Are you sure? ... REALLY sure??? Ok...

Push play on This ^ before looking at the pics. :)

I spent a LOT of time trying to fit these^ pictures to the words you're hearing... But I'm not sure if it worked or not. :) 

So...^ There's the bridge picture. :) 

Anyway, I realized that it's ok. :) I can't complain about what happened. Was it a really bad experience? Yes. And it crushed me. But after every rain storm there is a... C'mon, you know this...

That's right... A rainbow. :) And rainbows are great! Let me tell you... :) They symbolize so much. They take a broken looking, sad thing. And turn it into something amazingly beautiful. :)

I've had my own personal experience with "rainbows". You're thinking... C'mon Ayballin... We all have seen rainbows, it's not that exciting. :) I mean... Their pretty, but you see them, and then you just kinda know there's a rainbow there.

And, yes. That is true, but I'm talking a metaphorical rainbow.

 Sometimes I guess you just realize that your life is awesome. You're life even though it's not easy all the time, it's alright. And it's awesome. :) Everything falls into place, everything will turn into what it is supposed to, and I can't complain. :) I'm actually very happy. I look back today and think wow, I am so much better off. I don't need anyone to make me happy. I have music, I have a career, I have a life. And I am happy. When the right guy comes, he comes. But for now... I'm just fine. And life is good. :)

Sometimes you have to take a step back from everything and think to yourself "Life is good."

Life is amazing

Life is a Journey

And, we all look for our rainbows.

Anyway, Good luck. Hang in there. Find your rainbow. Weather that is your true calling in life, your true love, or a church who will accept you the way you are. I wish you well, and that you find your rainbow. :)

Your faithful writer A J.

I love you all, Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it. (I know it's long...) 

So long! Fairwell!And everything else they sing. :)

Yes... I love him.

Ok, it's been a while I know. Very sorry... I hope you can accept my appologies and keep reading my blog! :)

       Ok, I'm going to hit a hot topic right on the head. And I know that many teenagers in a commited relationship struggle with this, so I'm going to blow this out of the water.

I can't count how many times someone has told me "You don't really love him." Or "You shouldn't say that and raise his hopes." Or "You don't even know what love is." ... The list goes on.

            You know... I do.
I do love him. It's not just a crush anymore. We have been  through thick and thin, hard times, fun times. And guess what? Even when I'm trying to point out how wrong i think he is, and why I don't agree with it. I STILL LOVE HIM!

And I'm not raising his "hopes"... Seriously, what does that even mean? Just because we end every conversation with "I love you." doesn't mean that I am dragging him through our relationship.

"you don't even know what love is." I won't lie, this is the one that irks me the most. And I'll tell you why, just stick with me... :) 1Corinthians 13 states very clearly what love is. And If you haven't heard of it, I'll state it off for you. (1 Corinthians 13:4-10 ESV) Love is patient and kind, lve does not envy or boast; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes the partial will pass away."

OK... shouldn't what God says love is, be what love is? If you disagree, please comment below I would love to see your insight on why God is wrong.
If you believe what God says about love here, then it's free for all to see. And EVERYONE knows what love is. God didn't hide this "secret truth" about marital love for only those "special enough" to receive it. How you love someone doesn't change. It is stated clearly "Love IS..." Not "Love could be..." This and this and this.... "Depending on the person. " No. You are commanded to love everyone. No, you don't have to "LIKE" them, but you have to love them. ( That's a whole other argument though... we won't get into that.... Today... :P )

When I tell my boyfriend that I love him, it's basically me saying " I know I'm not perfect, and I might fail horribly sometimes... But, I will try my hardest to make 1 Corinthians 13 what you think of when you think of how much I love you. And also know that I could never love you or be as perfect as the God who created the love itself. Let me help you toward knowing who loves you the most better." That is what I hope he hears. Do you really expect me to sat that long speach every time we say "Goodnight" or "Goodbye"? No. It is easier to be lazy and say "I love you."

The point here is, I do love him. And it's not that big of a deal to say that. If I don't say it, how will he know? He wont. That is why I tell him I love him. Because I do, I love him. And he says he loves me back. Which I hope is true, because I see 1 Corinthians in the way he acts toward me. So, yes. If you were curious I do love him. I try my hardest to be patient, and kind, and everything else 1 Corinthians just said. And if he does the same, then we love each other, and it's ok to say that. We shouldn't get told that it is wrong for us to tell each other that. If it is true, then we aren't doing anything "Illegal, Immoral, Unethical, or AntiChrist." ( Thank you Brother Don...) And thereby it is not wrong.

Thanks for reading my very,very long rant... :)
Yours (sometimes) faithful writer A J
Till next time... Who knows when that will be... :) 

The apologies due.

So, I heard by an unknown source that some people were offended by my most recent post. "Yes... I love him." I want to make the nessesary apologies to anyone reading to whom was offended.
No, I don't think my boyfriends thought process is stupid. Sometimes when we argue, I think I am right, and he is wrong. And so in my head his thought process on that subject, at that point in time, by oposing mine is "stupid". But, that doesn't mean I don't think it's worth taking into consideration what he has to say. Ben is a very smart, intellegent man. No, his thought process is not stupid. It just seems that way to me when I think he is wrong.
I was wrong in saying it was "stupid". And I apologize.
To whom it may concern, I'm sorry. I will try my hardest to censor my words better in the future.

Thank you for reading.
Your faithful writer AJ 

God made you, you.

Some people don't like who they are. The sad thing is, that God made these people! He doesn't care weather they had a good childhood or not. Whatever the situation is, He still made them, and loves them enough to die for them. No matter what it is that you do, you were made for a reason. And many, many people don't see it that way. Unfortunantly, there are many people who see themself as worthless, or incapable of things that they would like to do.
Something you should know about me, is that I am very artistic. Things like that just come natrually to me. Music, drawing, arts and crafts, that's just my thing. Then there are people like my boyfriend, who are very logical, understanding, and need a plan for every little thing! Not that this is bad. Don't get me wrong, I love the way my boyfriends mind works. I swear, just because of the way he is, his brain has a little section for everything he does! One section for math, one for science, one for logic, so on and so forth. Whereas mine is just strewn all over the place. Everything I think about has some conotation to something else, usually a song, or a piece of art that I have seen lately.
Now that I have officially spilled the way my boyfriends mind works... The point here is, that Everyone is different! The best thing is, that we are able to find the best in other people to ballance out the weirdness of ourselves. If I didn't have my logical friends around, I would be a crazy mess!
The point here is, that no matter how unhappy with you being the way you are, you might be. God made you, you for a reason. He doesn't make mistakes, so thank God you are who you are.
Thank you for reading this short little blog. I hope you noticed that this was a short blog, with a powerful message. Thanks again for reading! Your faithfull writter A J :)
Thanks again!