Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Some of you don't know me...

Hey, people... So, I decided to write a blog about me. Most of you know me as AJ I write this blog, that makes you laugh or whatever... :P But, my real name is Ayballin. I'm a teenager who adores music, God, and her family. Music is what I want to do with my life, and that's why I'm telling you this. :) Music is so amazing... You can speak through tones, instead of words. Or both.
Now, hopefully in the upcoming years, you will be able to hear my music on the radio. That is my plan, and my dream. And I will fight for it until it happens.
But, in order for me to do that, I'm asking for your help. I want you to look me up on youtube, and this sight called reverbnation. And become a fan, and if you like my music ( th music on youtube is much more recent) share it with your friends. I need as many people to know about me as possible. That's why I'm asking you for help. :) So please... Take the time to copy and paste these links, and listen to some videos, and read my bio on reverbnation.

www.reverbnation.com/breath4

www.youtube.com/user/myguitarandme95

Thank you SO MUCH!!!!
Please help me up my internet following...

I'm going to be writing blogs more and more frequently, now that my life is settling down ( alot) :)

Your faithful wirter AJ 
Thanks again!

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Sad endings, but happy beginnings.

Hello all! It has been a very, VERY long time since my last post... Since my last post a lot has happened! Lets start with June 11th. My life was as happy as I thought it could possibly get. I had just graduated High school, and my life seemed to be on track. I was planning my wedding, I was planning my life the way I thought God wanted it to go. But, then I was thrown a curve ball. My boyfriend called me up, and the first thing he said to me was not "Hey, how are you doing today?" or "Hey, do you have a minute to talk?" He said "We're breaking up." My world suddenly fell from the high it was on. Plummeted to the ground like a meteor falling from the sky. And, being me. I replied "No, we're not." and hung up. Lets get one thing straight from the beginning. If you have the guts to come over to my house, and ask my father permission to date/marry me someday.You should have the guts to come over, and break up with me face to face. The only reason you have for breaking up over the phone, is if you are in a different state/country and can't afford to fly out to do it like a man (That goes for girls as well. Give the guy the dignity of telling him to his face it's not working.) After that call, he called over and over and when I finally answered, I yelled at him. I went to my house and cried. Because my life as I knew it was over. The life that I was so proud of, so sure of. Was all broken in one single phone call. I tried to write a song, and I couldn't think of any words to put down how I was truly feeling until 3 months after the fact. Usually I can write anything, anywhere. But this was different. This made the words never come. I truly loved him. And I knew I always would. He will always have a special place in my heart. And I am still trying to remove him from the space he doesn't deserve. A couple weeks went by and I was no longer crying myself to sleep on a regular basis. And, I was planning my first concert! (Which went really well by the way!) My aunt and I went out and printed posters, and we were out hanging them up when I ran into one of my really old friends! I knew him when I was 12, but we had lost touch, and hadn't really talked. But, when we ran into each other, we spawned an awesome friendship! And I consider him my best friend. Him and I both knew that we liked each other, but we didn't want to mess any of the friendship we had up. So, we shut our mouths. We didn't want to make the other feel awkward. He insisted that he didn't have a crush on me. But I knew otherwise. All the while, our friendship was growing stronger and stronger. I realized that I was telling him all my problems, and ranting and raving to him about EVERYTHING! And that he was doing the same to me. We started to rely on each other for spiritual encouragement, and just having fun hanging out. I started to see that he and I had so much more in common than Ben and I ever did, and then I realized something a little upsetting even to me. I started to love him. Not just the mushy gooshy kind of love either. (Of course there's that too) But, I love him as a person, I love what he stands for, what he believes about life, God, Music, and other important topics. I love spending time with, and I love who I am when he is around. I feel like we push each other to greatness. Instead of holding each other down. Anyway, that's not the point. I guess the point is. I learned, that even though I was so upset about loosing Ben. I gained something much better than Ben could ever have been to me. And for that I'm grateful. I learned how to love fully, and I learned that even though I thought I was following God's plan, I wasn't. I was following my plan. Believing what other people thought instead of listening to my own beliefs. Knowing things wouldn't work looking at the facts. So, now I am looking at the facts, seeing that this other guy and I have a much better relationship. And that I will be truly happy. So, thank God for sad endings. Because they usually lead to happy beginnings.

Your faithful writer A J

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Yes... I love him.

Ok, it's been a while I know. Very sorry... I hope you can accept my appologies and keep reading my blog! :)

       Ok, I'm going to hit a hot topic right on the head. And I know that many teenagers in a commited relationship struggle with this, so I'm going to blow this out of the water.

I can't count how many times someone has told me "You don't really love him." Or "You shouldn't say that and raise his hopes." Or "You don't even know what love is." ... The list goes on.

            You know... I do.
I do love him. It's not just a crush anymore. We have been  through thick and thin, hard times, fun times. And guess what? Even when I'm trying to point out how wrong i think he is, and why I don't agree with it. I STILL LOVE HIM!

And I'm not raising his "hopes"... Seriously, what does that even mean? Just because we end every conversation with "I love you." doesn't mean that I am dragging him through our relationship.

"you don't even know what love is." I won't lie, this is the one that irks me the most. And I'll tell you why, just stick with me... :) 1Corinthians 13 states very clearly what love is. And If you haven't heard of it, I'll state it off for you. (1 Corinthians 13:4-10 ESV) Love is patient and kind, lve does not envy or boast; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes the partial will pass away."

OK... shouldn't what God says love is, be what love is? If you disagree, please comment below I would love to see your insight on why God is wrong.
If you believe what God says about love here, then it's free for all to see. And EVERYONE knows what love is. God didn't hide this "secret truth" about marital love for only those "special enough" to receive it. How you love someone doesn't change. It is stated clearly "Love IS..." Not "Love could be..." This and this and this.... "Depending on the person. " No. You are commanded to love everyone. No, you don't have to "LIKE" them, but you have to love them. ( That's a whole other argument though... we won't get into that.... Today... :P )

When I tell my boyfriend that I love him, it's basically me saying " I know I'm not perfect, and I might fail horribly sometimes... But, I will try my hardest to make 1 Corinthians 13 what you think of when you think of how much I love you. And also know that I could never love you or be as perfect as the God who created the love itself. Let me help you toward knowing who loves you the most better." That is what I hope he hears. Do you really expect me to sat that long speach every time we say "Goodnight" or "Goodbye"? No. It is easier to be lazy and say "I love you."

The point here is, I do love him. And it's not that big of a deal to say that. If I don't say it, how will he know? He wont. That is why I tell him I love him. Because I do, I love him. And he says he loves me back. Which I hope is true, because I see 1 Corinthians in the way he acts toward me. So, yes. If you were curious I do love him. I try my hardest to be patient, and kind, and everything else 1 Corinthians just said. And if he does the same, then we love each other, and it's ok to say that. We shouldn't get told that it is wrong for us to tell each other that. If it is true, then we aren't doing anything "Illegal, Immoral, Unethical, or AntiChrist." ( Thank you Brother Don...) And thereby it is not wrong.

Thanks for reading my very,very long rant... :)
Yours (sometimes) faithful writer A J
Till next time... Who knows when that will be... :) 

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Graduation, change, etc.

Hey everybody! :)
So, I have officialy graduated high school! Nothing of great significance though. Things still go on like they had before. The only thing that's different  is there is no school.
My question to you all is... Why is change so difficult and not wanted? Shouldn't change be looked at as a good thing? Not Some big, bad wolf here to eat all our fun times... And all our happiness!
Change is here to teach us... To help us learn there is always something better or worse. That there will always come a time where you believe your past to be abnormal, when while you were living it... You thought it was normal. :)
Fun thoughts!

Your faithful writer
A J

Monday, May 6, 2013

The apologies due.

So, I heard by an unknown source that some people were offended by my most recent post. "Yes... I love him." I want to make the nessesary apologies to anyone reading to whom was offended.
No, I don't think my boyfriends thought process is stupid. Sometimes when we argue, I think I am right, and he is wrong. And so in my head his thought process on that subject, at that point in time, by oposing mine is "stupid". But, that doesn't mean I don't think it's worth taking into consideration what he has to say. Ben is a very smart, intellegent man. No, his thought process is not stupid. It just seems that way to me when I think he is wrong.
I was wrong in saying it was "stupid". And I apologize.
To whom it may concern, I'm sorry. I will try my hardest to censor my words better in the future.

Thank you for reading.
Your faithful writer AJ 


Sunday, February 17, 2013

Girl talk... (maybe part 1)

Ok... So, we all know that as girls we have our very own language. And because of that, sometimes we need a little bit of translation. So, this is mainly to help boys understand what exactly we mean when we say "I'm so fat" or scream after we haven't seen someone for a month or so... But, it is also for girls to laugh at histarically because it is so true!
Here it goes...
Girl Dictionary-
"AHHHHH!!!!!"- If used exitedly while running towards someone means "OH MY WORD!!!! IT FEELS LIKE YEARS SINCE I'VE SEEN YOU!!!!!!!!!!!" If used as if scared, then you hear something climbing onto something tall (Kitchen counter, chair, stool" means "MOUSE!!!!" or "SPIDER!!!" or "KILL THAT THING!!!!!!!!!" Whatever the meaning, be prepaired for some sort of animal to kill or take out of the house. And or a Criminal that you must have a shotgun handy to take care of that dude right then and there.
"I'm so fat"- This one is tricky. If you don't understand why the girl would say such a thing aka they aren't fat you say "No you're not." As if it's not debatable. When a girl says this it either means she is bloating so feels extremely abnormaly fat, and or she is haveing a bad day and really means "Tell me that I don't look fat so that i can look in the mirror to do my hair in the morning." So, just say that they aren't fat and do everyone a favor.
"It's like I have a little food baby!"- This is something girls like myself say when we know that we aren't fat, but are starting to realize a slight gain in weight, or small bulge over the belt line.
"What!?!?!"- For the most part usually means, "Are you serious?!?" or "No way!!!" Girls don't want you to repeat whatever it is that you just said after you said it unless asked in a serious questioning tone.

Well... This is all I have for now. But, maybe there will be a part two :) Don't know yet...
Anywho. I hope all of you are doing well. PLEASE SUBSCRIBE!!!!
Your faithful writer A J
Thanks for reading! :)

Friday, February 1, 2013

Wow... I'm tired!

Snow, snow, snow... That's all that I can see when I look out my door for the last week!
It's been snowing, then stopping, the snowing... Just off and on. It's crazy... But, it's actually really pretty.
I don't know why I started out saying that... But, it's true, it has been snowing like crazy and it is really pretty. Anyway, I didn't update at all last month, basically because I have been extremely busy, and so tired I can barely keep my eyes open.
Which leads me to my topic. Teenagers get tired! There are so many people who think that teenagers should be able to just bounce back from staying up all night if they get one hour of sleep because we are "young"...? Really? Did you know that a teenagers brain is growing at the same pace that a baby's is? And an adults brain has slowed down to the pace where everything is normal? That is why highschool and college is so difficult. Because our brains are able to learn all of this stuff, but it is also trying to grow and process more things than it ever has before. Which is also an acceptable reason for teenagers to be tired. I think high school should offer napping hour just like preschool. Of course I'm kidding, but it would be really nice.
That's just another reason to homeschool your kids, because every one learns better well rested, if you let your kids sleep as much as they need to, learning will not be a napping hour instead of information hour.
Basically, teenagers can be tired... and even if you think they shouldn't be... they are. we have extremely fast paced hearts, and brains, and lives. In order for all that to be ok, we need sleep. Which we don't get a lot of anyway because we like to stay up late with friends. So, some of it is our fault.. But don't tell us we aren't tired if we say we are, because you don't know that. You aren't us.
Thanks for reading!
Please SUBSCRIBE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks...
Your faithful writter...
Also very tired writter...
A J

Saturday, January 5, 2013

New... year, dog, hair, house... NEW YOU!

Isn't it a little funny that New years comes so soon after Christmas? You just got all of this "New" stuff... Then turned around and it was like the government said "Happy late Christmas!!" and threw in a whole "NEW YEAR!!!!" Then there are "new years resolutions" that you throw in as if the new year has something magical about it. I know people who know they need to make a change in their life, but instead of doing it they wait until they can make a "new years resolution". Is  it really that exciting? I wouldn't know... every time I make a "new years resolution" I fail sorely at said resolution. I don't know about you... but I just don't even bother anymore.
I think it's funny though... Everyone makes such a huge deal out of new years when really it's just another day. It is fun to have the big party and stay up all night... But if the world forgot that day one year, it wouldn't be a tragedy.
The entire world has a "New year?... New you!" policy. have you ever heard "Oh... it will be better next year." or "That can wait till next year." I have a question... Does it really?
This is a post to say "HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!"
I actually love the whole new years thing. Even though it is a little silly. Did you know that in China their new years is actually more important than Christmas. In most American homes this is an absolutely absurd thought... But it's true. :P
Anyway... I hope you enjoyed this!
Happy new year to you!
PLEASE SUBSCRIBE!!!
:) Love you all!
Your writer A J